I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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