Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
