i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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