fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
