he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
