That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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