oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
