Can i not drive my cunt home
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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