and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize