Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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