dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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