you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
