hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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