I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
