I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
