my soul wont recognize me after tonight
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize