Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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