You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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