this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
