Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
