The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
