Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
