do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
