how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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