Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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