Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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