no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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