Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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