told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
this hospital has no fireball
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize