It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
