Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
