Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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