wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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