does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
