grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
