the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
