Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
