Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
