so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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