I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
be right there i have to get my cape
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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