Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
