One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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