Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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