Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
