i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
