Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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