is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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