omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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