I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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