I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
