what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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