Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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