I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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