I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
