Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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