so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
