oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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