Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
