being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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