after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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