Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I deserve this hangover.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
